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My Works

The Life of a Real Girl, A True Story

Compulsive Eating. Anorexia. Psychoanalysis. Drug Addiction. Mental Hospitalization. Sexual Hang-ups. Plastic Surgery. A Tragic Love Affair. In this remarkably frank autobiography, we see Johanna Garfield grapple with her personal demons and emerge triumphant.

"Candid...Affecting"
-Publisher's Weekly


"Gripping...Garfield writes llke an angel"
-New Woman

A Country Place: It's Far From Paradise

"The basic problems, as I see them, fall into four categories: A)children - one's own and others; B)friends and neighbors - nativeor otherwise; C)animals - domestic and wild, and D)work - indoor and outdoor."

Cousins: A Unique and Powerful Bond

For those who have experienced the intense bond between cousins...it's unimaginable how neglected these important relationships have been in our literature. Johanna Garfield's thorough research and revealing personal narrative begin to fill this void with insight and intelligence,"

-Mary Kay Blakely, author of American Mom

Have Cell Phone, Will Travel

"I could indulge my secret passion for Howard Stern while drinking Vanilla Almond from a nearby Timothy's."

Life Is Judi-Ful On 94th Street

"While I've been watching the dry cycle in our laundry room, maybe she was inserting her laundry card into a washer."

Lost Car: Panic. Ire. Joy. Resignation.

"Brawny officer appears at complaint desk and takes report. Says squad car should have been sent to house."

Upstairs, Downstairs, Upstairs

Some Are Born to Live in a Brownstone; Some Just Endure It

A 'Thwack' Is Not Enough

"Worse then the sight of the man on the sidewalk, though, was my later realization that I probably had heard the attack."

The Case Against Telling Your Age

"It occurs to me now that being so bold about announcing your years can sometimes be just as much a kind of showing off, a king of insecurity in reverse..."

In Defense of Christmas Letters

"If it is true that people are basically alike, then I have to guess that my curiosity about how my friends' kids have grown is paralleled by their interest in me and mine."

The Overrated Joys of Motherhood After 30

"Certainly, a woman's right to choose when - or whether - to have children has been a long time coming."

Being Counted

"I suppose I thought my presence didn't matter. After all, what difference would one person more or less make?"

A Long Island Downstairs Viewed from Upstairs

"Growing up in Cedarhurst in a big house with servants largely substituting for parents brought joys and sorrows that today's appliance-laden nuclear families can scarcely imagine."

Second Grade Was Worse the Second Time Around

"Though I couldn't have verbalized it then, I also knew that I'd be irrevocably altered by that moment,..."

Kissing Cousins, The Unsung Relatives

"To share a history; even more, to hear a certain turn of phrase, have a mutual talent, see a certain facial configuration in the features of another who is not a brother or sister, is fascinating."

Family Dis-chord

"At Carnegie Hall, one sone used to stuff his ears with cotton; the other children remained quiet only when bribed with candy bars."